I don’t procrastinate often.
On “The Andy Griffith Show,” Opie’s Hobo Friend “David Browne” talks to Opie about putting things off until tomorrow. He says about tomorrow: “It’s the most perfect day to start any job: tomorrow. The most marvelous day that was ever invented: tomorrow. Why, there’s absolutely nothing a man can’t do…tomorrow.”
That’s a great episode to watch if you get the chance. It’s Season 2, Episode 6, if you want to Stream it tonight.
I’m not the first to get something done, but I’m usually not the last, either.
I don’t try to be the best, but I don’t shoot for the worst either.
I once walked a “Walk-A-Thon.”
I didn’t come in first, but I didn’t come in last, either.
The guy who came in first ran the race and didn’t walk it.
I was going to call Foul, but the Ice Cream Truck caught my eye, and I walked over to get an Orange Push-Up to eat and cool off.
Still, I didn’t come in last.
“George Costanza” on “Seinfeld” says that a College GPA of 2.0 is right in the meaty part of the curve—not showing off, not falling behind.
That’s me a lot of the time.
Now, regarding some things, I am Johnny on the spot.
Some things I don’t put off. Doctor appointments, for example.
When getting my taxes done, I usually get mine done the last week of March or the first week of April.
I have to pay my taxes every year, so I’m not in a big hurry to do them.
This year, though, I waited until the last day—April 15th.
So, I’m in a small line at the Post Office mailing my tax payment to the IRS.
I have to go inside and make sure my envelope gets stamped with today’s date. Otherwise, I’ll get charged a late fee.
Two people are ahead of me.
“I expected the line to be out the door with all us procrastinators mailing our payments in,” one gentleman says.
“This is the first time in a long time that I have waited until the last day,” I say back.
The lady in front of me looks back and says, “I have to pay every year, and each year, I wait until the 15th to mail my check. They ain’t gettin’ my money any sooner.” She then grinned and Winked at me.
She walks up to the counter. “I need a book of Stamps, and I need to mail this after you stamp it with today’s date, kind Sir.”
“Yes, ma’am. We have our new Hummingbird Stamps in. They’re just Beautiful. Will these work?” He asks as he shows the Stamps off to the lady.
“Yes. Those are Beautiful. I’ll take ’em,” She says.
She pays for her Stamps and gets her IRS Payment in the mail before the deadline.
“See ya’ again next year,” she says as she walks by.
I walk up and say, “Just a good ol’ American Flag Stamp for me, Kind Sir. And I also need this stamped with today’s date so I don’t get penalized and have to pay a late fee.”
He stamped my envelope and said, “You made it in time.”
“Next year, I won’t procrastinate,” I say as I walk away.
—The Checks in the Mail.
Happy Tax Day
