—Alabama Or Auburn—
Being born in the South, there are certain “rules” that you are expected to adhere to:
– For one thing, tea is drank sweetened.
– There are several ways to give directions.
“Go past the Apple Tree and take a left” is acceptable.
– When driving, you are expected to wave at passing cars by lifting the fingers that you are using to steer.
I could go on and on with examples, but I’ll stop there.
Now, being born in Alabama, you have additional rules that you are expected to adhere to:
First and foremost, you are to be a die-hard fan of one of two Football teams—Alabama or Auburn.
When I was in the third grade, kids took turns being “Door Greeters” at the Elementary School.
The Door Greeters were kids who volunteered to hold the school doors open for everyone entering the school.
The school had several doors going into the front.
Kids would hold the doors open and chant one of two things:
– “Auburn fans come through this door” would be chanted by one kid, while the other kid, holding open the other door, would chant, “Alabama fans come through this door.”
The kids would then keep up with how many people went through their door.
The kid who had the most people come through their door won.
So, at an early age, even before I really knew what Football was, I was expected to be a fan of either the Auburn Football Team or the Alabama Football Team.
All the sane people in my family were fans of the appropriate team.
(My oldest brother wasn’t sane, though.)
Now, each year, for one day and one day only, the whole state gathers around the TV to watch the most important show of the entire year.—The Iron Bowl.
The “Iron Bowl” is when Alabama and Auburn play one another in Football.
Nothing else on TV or Radio is as important as this event.
The Presidents Address to the Nation, World War III, Famine is nowhere near as important as the Iron Bowl.
In fact, if you get caught walking around inside the local Dollar General or Wal-Mart while the game is on, you’re looked down upon.
… That’s how serious Football is in Alabama, and that’s how serious the Iron Bowl is in Alabama, and I just wanted you to know.
I’m watching the game.
