Hillbilly Golf

—Hillbilly Golf—

I played Putt-Putt tonight. “Hillbilly Golf,” to be exact.

“Hillbilly Golf” is located in Gatlinburg at the end of the strip heading toward “Pigeon Forge.”

They’ve been in operation for over Fifty years now.

As a child, my brothers and I, along with my cousins, would play Hillbilly Golf every time we came to Gatlinburg.

Tonight, I pulled my vehicle into the Public Pay Parking Lot, and the manager of Hillbilly Golf came over to me.

“You here to play Putt-Putt?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Use our parking lot. It’s free.”

I thanked the man and pulled into their parking lot, which is easy to miss if you’re not looking.

“Hillbilly Golf” is Putt-Putt on the side of a mountain.
Yes. Putt-Putt, on the side of a mountain.

You get on an incline rail to get to the top of the mountain.
The top is 310 feet up.

When we had all gotten in the rail car, an employee explained to us what we should expect:

“Welcome to ‘Hillbilly Golf’ everyone. This car will take you up 310 feet to the top of the mountain. When you get to the top, there are two 18-hole courses—one to your left and one to your right.
One is called ‘Thick Brush,’ and one is called ‘Thin Brush.’ Any questions so far?”

No one asked a question, so he went on:

“Now, our phone number is posted on every hole. That’s for two reasons: One, If you should knock your ball off the side of the mountain, call us, and we’ll bring you another one. Two, if you see a bear, call us immediately, and we’ll come up there; Two cubs came out just last night.”

I raise my hand…

“Yes, sir?”

“Um, did you say last night?”

“Yep.”

“Cubs?”

“Yep.”

“Where was the momma?”

“Good question.”

“Crap… It’ll be me who gets eaten…”

“Better you than me…”

“Thanks…”

“Any other questions?”

Nobody else asked any questions, and the incline rail began taking us to the top of the mountain.

The holes are fairly easy.
They have everything set up for fun and low scores.
Each hole is either a Par 3 or a Par 2.—I got a couple of hole-in-ones.

While playing one hole, nutshells began falling out of a tree and onto me and the course.
It took me a second to realize that if shells were falling on me, then there was something in the tree above me eating nuts…
I slowly turned my head up to see what was in the tree above, and a squirrel was eyeballing me as he crammed nuts into his mouth.
I sighed a sigh of relief.

It was extremely hot up in the mountain today.
They have coolers set up along the course with bottles of water for 1 Dollar. They use the honor system.

It cost $12.99 per adult. Children cost less.
They do not have restrooms there.
The restrooms are located at the Public Pay Parking Lot next door.
Also, there are a lot of steps. For example, as you play, you walk down the mountain.

The course is clean and well maintained.
You could tell that the employees love working there and take great pride in keeping everything well maintained.

I enjoyed playing “Hillbilly Golf” tonight. I plan on playing it again.

That is all for now.

Love you,

–Lynn

P.S. I shot a 43

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