When I first moved out on my own, I, like many other guys, had to learn how to do things on my own. —Like Shopping, for instance.
I remember the first time I went Shopping.
I was pushing my buggy down the aisle when I ran across something I didn’t know existed. Cake Icing. They sell the stuff at the store.
I picked up the Chocolate and stared at it.
“You gotta be kiddin’,” I said.
“I’ve been lickin’ the spoon when I could have just gone out and bought the stuff? Throw this in the buggy. Grab some of that Vanilla too.”
I got home and began to prepare dinner for myself.
Within ten minutes, I was already confused.
And like many other New Bachelors in this situation, I picked up the phone to call my Momma and ask questions.
“Mom, I’m trying to make ‘Hamburger Helper, ‘ and I’m confused…”
I could hear moms disappointment in her breathing.
“Honey, ‘Hamburger Helper’ should be pretty easy. What are you stuck with?”
“Well, It says to brown the Ground Beef.”
“Yes. You should brown the Ground Beef.”
“Well, that’s just it. The Hamburger Helper box doesn’t have any Ground Beef in it.”
“…”
“Am I wrong? Did I do something wrong already?”
“Son…”
“Yeah?”
“Ahem…”
“What?”
“It’s called ‘Hamburger HELPER,’ Son…”
“What am I missing? I’m lost. I don’t understand what you’re telling me.”
“Ahem…”
I could feel, over the phone, that I had let my Momma down. I could feel the ‘let down.’
“Son, the Ground Beef comes separately. Do you think they would put Ground Beef in a box and sit it out on the shelves?”
“OHHH. Hamburger HELPER! OHHH. Okay. I get it now. My Bad.”
Mom replies, “So what are you gonna eat tonight?”
“Chocolate Cake Icing.”
It’s no wonder I’m now Diabetic.
