—A Talk with God—
—Spina Bifida Awareness 10/27/2022—
Before you read this, please know that I am a Christian. I am Saved and Baptized.
I have more good days than bad ones, and I can usually laugh at myself.
Like everyone else, I pay bills and taxes and deal with life.
But aside from dealing with life, I also have to deal with Medical Issues resulting from my Spina Bifida.
I believe every disabled person has had this particular talk with God.
God is a Big God, and I Believe He understands.
God, Church, Prayer, and the Bible have helped me most over the years.
I’ve had bad days with life, and then my Spina Bifida acts up, and the “poop hits the fan.” And it’s too much.
And then…
God.
It’s me—Again.
Standing in the bathroom, Naked and covered in my filth.
Another blowout. My Colostomy.
I’m tired of Spina Bifida.
I’m 47—Over thirty surgeries.
It’s old…I’m old…My body is beaten…I’m beaten…
When I was twenty, I cussed you out and said, “You don’t know how to make a body!” I even screamed, “You don’t put a Soul in a half-working body! You shouldn’t do that, God!”
I’m not yelling now, though. I’m just standing here. Asking, Why?
Did you know me in my mom’s womb?
Did you personally make me?
I know you know how to make a body. Billions of people walk around with great bodies—working Sphincters and everything.
What about the kid in Africa with feet facing the wrong way? Why?
What about the lady at the Spina Bifida clinic who was born paralyzed from the neck down?
I know she feels like a head. A head!… Nothing more.
I know because I only feel like my body is from my head down to my waist. I feel like my soul is halfway in my body.
I know she is going through hell.
Her whole body is just her head.
Why?
At least I can walk. So, I shouldn’t complain? I don’t know…
I’m not hollering, though.
That’s an improvement.
I know you know what you’re doing. I mean, Billions of people are fine.
You made gravity, time, and space; you should’ve made Pluto bigger. Scientists are dumb.
I just don’t get it. 1 in 10,000 odds, and it landed on me.
And I can’t win the lottery…
I’m not hollering, though.
I’m going to take a shower now.
I think we had a good talk.
I didn’t holler.
I love you.
—Spina Bifida Awareness 10/27/2022—
—A Talk with God—
