—Popular, Part IV—
—The Misadventures of ‘Lynn’ ‘Coon’ and ‘Tater,’ Continued—
That night I couldn’t sleep.
Before I had left “Taters,” I got a good look at what “Coon,” and “Tater” were wearing.
I looked to see if they had a Hammer on them.
Laying in bed, I thought back, putting it all together.
“They weren’t wearing gloves, and I didn’t see a Hammer on either of them,” I thought as I lay there.
I figured the Hammer they used was still at the Restaurant, and since they weren’t wearing gloves, it was full of their fingerprints.
I wasn’t sure if I could get into trouble or not. After all, I truly didn’t know they had broken into the Restaurant.
The next day I went to work.
Before clocking in, I headed to my “Best Friends” Department to talk to him. I needed advice, and I needed it badly.
At this point in my life, he was the only Friend that I personally told I had Spina Bifida. He knew my whole story.
“Hey, hey, come here. I need to talk to you.”
“What’s wrong?” he asks. “Looks serious.”
“Yes, it is very serious. I think I’m in trouble. Maybe with the Law.”
I told him the story that you’ve read in “Part III.”
“Only you,” he says and continues. “I think you see the world differently because of your Spina Bifida. You have to admit you’re a little gullible and naive.”
“Yeah, I know,” I say back to him.
“What do I do? Do you think they’ll put me in jail? I’m an ‘Adult’ now since my 18th Birthday.”
“I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I love you like a brother, and I’ll be there for you, I promise, but…I don’t know. I told you not to hang out with ‘Coon,’ and ‘Tater.'”
“Yeah. I should’ve listened.”
He had told me that he had a bad feeling about me hanging out with someone named “Coon” and someone named “Tater.”
“You’re shaking,” he says.
“Yeah, I’m scared to death. I think I was the ‘getaway’ driver in a dang burglary.”
“Did the alarm go off?”
“I never heard anything. I just sat in the car listening to Pink Floyd.”
“Yeah, you always gotta get your daily dose of ‘Floyd.'”
We stood there for a moment before he said, “I think I’m gonna go kick their a**. They took advantage of you.”
“I don’t think we should fight anyone named “Coon,” and “Tater,” I replied.
“I told you not to hang out with them, ya know.”
“I know, I know. It’s too late now, though.”
With quivering lips, I ask, “You think the police would believe me if I told ’em?”
“If they knew you, yes, they’d believe you just as I believe you. I don’t think that’s gonna happen, though. I don’t think they’ll believe you.”
He adds, “…they don’t know you.”
“What about my diapers? What will they do about that?”
He shrugs his shoulders and says, “Good point. I don’t know.”
“I’ve been throwing up all day because I’m so worried and scared. I think I’m gonna throw up again.”
“No, you ain’t! Not in my Department. I hate cleaning that up. Goto the Breakroom and I’ll meet you back there. Go puke in the bathroom.”
I head to the bathroom, where I throw up in the toilet.
I then sit and wait in the Breakroom for my Friend.
He enters.
“Okay, okay. I’ve got it. After you get off work today, go to the Court House and tell them what happened. You gotta ‘Man-Up’ and tell them. They might believe you.”
“Okay, but I don’t get off until late. The Court House will be closed. I can go tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’m off work.”
“I’ll go with you if I can. Moral support and all.”
I go and Clock in for work.
Later that night, I get paged to answer line 1 on the phone.
“This is Lynn. Can I help you?”
“Hey man, this is “Tater.” You gotta turn yourself in at the Court House. They caught us and know about you. They said if you haven’t turned yourself in by tomorrow evening, they’re going to put out an arrest warrant for you.”
I threw up in the garbage can next to the counter.
