—Spina Bifida And The Birds And The Bees—
No two people born with Spina Bifida are the same.
It affects everyone differently.
When I was born, the doctors thought I wouldn’t be able to walk.
After having my Spina Bifida repaired surgically, and it was safe to lay me on my back, my Mother would lay me down, take my feet in her hands, and rotate my legs like pedaling a bicycle. She did this for an hour or more daily.
I eventually began moving my legs on my own. Then, one day, I pulled myself up on my own and stood. And Momma Cried.
I will skip over a lot and get to the story I wish to tell.
In the past, I’ve met parents of a child with Spina Bifida, and there is one thing they all want the answer to—Will their child be able to make Love and have Children.
Answer: I don’t know.
What I can tell you is my story. And I only tell this in hopes that people will better understand me and my situation.
I will try to use all medical terms and be grown up about this. I ask you to do the same.
At about sixteen years old, I knew something was wrong.
And, I didn’t have the internet to help me out. I had the Library and the Encyclopedia Britannica. …And two brothers… And they were of no help at all at that time.
Unfortunately, neither were the Library nor the Encyclopedia.
So, I scheduled an appointment to see my Urologist.
My Urologist, Dr. Morgan, was a Genius. So I knew he’d be able to help.
Now, my brain has blacked a lot of this part out. So I can only tell you what I remember and how Spina Bifida has affected me in this area.
I had some tests performed, and I got sent to an ED doctor. I remember that doctor being a female. I was embarrassed.
In the end, my penis was not growing, and it wasn’t going to grow. Nor did my body make sperm which meant I couldn’t have children. I was also not able to get an erection. In short, I couldn’t make Love to a wife.
For a teenage male, it was the worst news ever.
…And I had to come to terms with it.
I also had to figure out how to appear to be a “Normal” teenager with this going on. —That’s a story for another day, though.
And, No, there were no surgeries for me. I checked.
There may be surgery for it nowadays; I don’t know. Now, though, I don’t care about it.
The Bible says that not all men get called to Marriage. I believe that with all my heart.
I feel in my heart that I’m supposed to be single and enjoy the life I do have.
I have Nephews and Nieces, a great family, and close friends. I feel full.
So, when parents ask me if I think their child will be able to “Make Love,” I tell them that I don’t know.
I will say this, though; When I go to the Adult Spina Bifida Clinic, I see Husbands and Wives in there with their children all the time.
The Husband or the Wife will be in a wheelchair, and one or two children will be with them. I can only assume that they do not have the same situation.
As I said initially, no two people born with Spina Bifida are the same.
That’s all on that topic.
Love you,
–Lynn
