—The Sphincter Test—
Here is another bit of information regarding Spina Bifida.
—And I will try my best to keep this on an Adult Level. I’ll try.
You may not know this, but one of God’s greatest creations on the Human Body is the Sphincter Muscle(s).
I’ve read about them, and they’re amazing.
Being born with Spina Bifida, my Sphincter Muscles don’t work. They’re paralyzed.
Still, Doctors or Specialists, from time to time, perform tests on my Sphincter Muscles.
Mainly, the Sphincter located in my buttocks area.
The tests performed are to see whether I have any feeling or control of the Sphincter. Any. So far, these tests have shown that I have zero control or feeling of my Sphincter(s).
The first time I had these tests performed, I thought I was part of some evil prank.
The things they were doing to me didn’t seem real. I have no idea what a Sphincter feels like or how it works—outside of what I’ve been told.
I was a teenager the first time I had these tests performed.
I was told to get naked, climb up on the table,…and put my legs and feet into the stirrups. Yep. —Ladies, I understand. And this felt sinister.
Vanity and Pride go out the window once you climb into the stirrups.
The Doctor, a female, tells me jokes to help make me more comfortable.
“Are you comfortable?” She asks.
I stare at her after hearing the question.
I was a teenager with a bit of an anger problem.
“I’m in stirrups…”
She smiles. “I know. It sucks. I understand.”
“I’d feel more comfy if you got naked too,” I remember saying.
She and her assistant laughed at that.
I look around at the equipment.
There are electro things, some probes, and balloons.
She explained that the electric equipment was used to measure muscle response time to an electric shock. Or something like that. My brain likes to try and block out some things.
Now, this would become a four-thousand-word story if I were to write every test performed, so I’ll keep most of the tests out of this story and stick to the craziest test. Crazy to me, at least.
With my legs in stirrups and lying on my back, the Doctor began the test.
“Take a deep breath; I’m going to insert a balloon inside you.”
I feel nothing.
My buttocks gets moved from left to right and right to left.
“Do you feel anything?” She asks.
“Nope. Nada.”
“Okay, I’m going to start pumping up the balloon. You tell me as soon as you can feel it, okay?”
“Will do.”
She has a pump in her hand that she squeezes to blow up the balloon inserted inside me. It resembles the pump used on a blood pressure cuff.
I can hear the Doctor pumping up the balloon: —Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
“Do you feel that?”
“Not yet.”
—Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
“Anything?”
“Nothing.”
—Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze
“Anything yet?”
“Nope.”
—Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze
“I feel some sort of pressure. Yeah. I feel something. Not sure what, though.”
“Okay, good. I didn’t know how much more I could pump it. I was worried the balloon might pop if I pumped it up anymore.”
“How big is the balloon?”I ask.
“About the size of a Basketball,” She jokingly answers.
Then, the test begins.
I say “test,” but I still wonder if it was a big prank.
“Now, I want you to imagine pushing the balloon out of you.”
“Huh?”
“Just concentrate and imagine pushing the balloon out of you.”
I close my eyes and try to “Use the Force” and push this balloon out of me.
Sensors are attached to this device, and the sensors can pick up anything my Sphincter or body does while I imagine pushing this balloon out.
“Is this for real?” I ask.
“What do you mean?”
“Is this what y’all ‘Normies’ do when sitting on the toilet? Imagine the poop leaving your body?”
I felt like this was some “Star Wars—Use the Force” stuff.
“Just please keep trying for me.”
I continue trying to use my mind to push this balloon out of me.
“Use the Force, Lynn. Stretch out your feelings,” I kept saying to myself in my mind. (It’s from a Movie)
“Okay, let’s try something else,” the Doctor says.
“This time, try to imagine pulling the balloon up inside you.”
“What? Really? Can y’all do that? Just suck something back up inside you?” Again, I really felt like this was a big Prank.
So, I began imagining pulling the balloon farther inside me.
These tests took more than an hour to perform.
In the end, the Doctor said that I had no control of my bowel or Sphincter Muscle.
Zero. Nothing worked.
Afterward, I was allowed to dress and leave.
Thankfully, I no longer have to climb into the stirrups.
All Medical Science has agreed that I have no control over my Sphincter.
And I remember as I was driving away, feeling a bit violated.
—and feeling that I was the butt of some gigantic joke.
