Urology Update

The Doctors Office. Birmingham, Alabama. I arrived 30 minutes early.
My Urologist is at the Grandview Medical Center Professional Offices off of Highway 280.
Yes, …280
Because of 280, I left an hour early.

I’m sitting in a quiet waiting room with four other fellas.
A quiet waiting room is perfect for Lenny and Squiggy, my Colostomy and Urostomy to act up. They enjoy an audience and know I can do nothing to stop them.

Everyone’s stomach makes sounds from time to time. It usually means you’re hungry.
Put a Megaphone up to your stomach while it makes those sounds, and you’ll get an idea of what “Lenny and Squiggy” sound like.

My Abdomen makes sounds while fluids and other things get distributed from place to place throughout my body.
Sounds that are much like the sounds you get from emptying a Gallon of Milk into the sink.
“Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.”
Or a Cat in heat. “Meeeeeeoooooooooowwwwwwww.”
Or an Aluminum Can being crushed. I don’t know how to write that sound.
In a Nutshell, it sounds like a Submarine that has dove too deep, and the pressure is about to crush it.

It’s quiet in the room, as I said earlier.
Several other Fellas are in the room with me. We are all playing with our phones.
One Fella decided to break the rules of this Social Situation. Instead of leaving a chair between us, he sat to my left.

It was perfectly quiet when “Lenny and Squiggy” came alive.
The man next to me on my left comes out of his seat like he’s about to dive for cover. He eyeballs my Abdomen like it’s a bomb about to explode.
“Lenny and Squiggy” continue with their sound show. I giggle.
My giggle calmed the Fella sitting beside me down some.
“Too many Surgeries in my Abdomen,” I say to him while giggling.

“Ah. Okay, spooked me,” he replies.
“Yeah. It took me a while to get used to the sounds. It won’t explode on you,” I say in reassurance.
He grins and relaxes.

Shortly after, I got called to see the doctor.

I had a Renal Ultrasound done last week, and my Urologist is giving me the results today.
He comes in, and I shake his hand.
He tells me that my Kidneys are “Status Quo.” That’s good for me.
I still have Hydronephrosis in both my Kidneys, but it hasn’t gotten worse since my last scan. As I said, Status Quo. That’s good for me.

I told my Urologist about a few other things going on with me so he could make notes.
He answered my questions and even urged me to get back to taking trips.
And, as I always do with my Urologist, I told him how important he is to his patients and how he changes people’s lives.
I tell him that he is making a difference. Some might call it “being the Hands and Feet of God.” And I believe that.
I then told him that I have a trip to Gatlinburg planned in the future, which makes him happy.

And that’s the latest on my Kidneys and my Renal Ultrasound.

Love you,