Oysters and Porcelain

I love Oysters. I’ve talked about it.
I love them raw, fried, baked, and smoked.

“Smoked” brings me to my point.

Yesterday… I had an Oyster craving. So I went out and bought three cans of “Chicken Of The Sea Smoked Oysters.”

I returned home and got my hot sauce, salt, cheese, and crackers.
I did all of this in complete secrecy. See, I didn’t want to share… That was my mistake.

I snuck all the above items back to my room and sat down in my recliner.

I turn on the TV and begin eating.
I finished all of it. Nothing was left.
It was delicious.
Then, I sat back and enjoyed some TV.

What happened within the next hour or so has never happened to me before. At least not from eating Smoked Oysters.

I felt a rumbling in my tummy.
Sweat beads began forming on my forehead.
I checked my blood sugar, and it was great. So, it wasn’t that.
I had my nighttime urine bag attached to me. It has a 6-foot hose. The bag is lying on the floor next to the chair.
I realize what’s happening.
I get up out of the recliner and sprint to that one porcelain seat that was not meant for you to put your head over. The urine bag drags behind me on the floor.
Within thirty seconds, my stomach is empty.

I should’ve shared.