Today, it dawned on me that I’ve been feeling down lately.
Maybe the word “Blah” describes it best.
When I feel like this, I don’t feel much like journaling.
I don’t feel much like doing anything.
I believe these feelings are a normal part of life.
And it’s easy to get down on yourself. Very easy.
I believe it started last week.
I had just gotten out of the shower and stood in front of the mirror.
I noticed all the scars on my abdomen. I saw the two holes in my stomach as well as the bags attached to the holes.
I remember thinking, “These bags are, in a way, keeping me alive. —Keeping my body working.” It scared me. Thinking too long about my Spina Bifida, the scars, always scares me.
I noticed that my belly button was gone and now covered by scars.
And I think that was the beginning of this “Blah” feeling.
I’ve been trying to “Shake it off” ever since.
Tomorrow, though, I have something special planned.
My Uncle, “Unc!”—that’s how you spell and pronounce it—and I are going to hang out. It’s going to be something special that I hope to be able to write about. It might be a once-in-a-lifetime event
And I also expect it to get me outta this “Funk.”
I’m not going to tell you about it right now, but I will tell you that I have to meet Uncle “Unc!” today to get my parking pass and ticket for the event.
I also shaved and got myself looking a bit “Spiffy” today.
I’m hoping to get a lot of pictures and videos.
More on this later.
Love you,
–Lynn
