Pre-Registration

Pre-Registration called me today to get me ready for my Procedure this Thursday.

While talking about my Colostomy and Urostomy, I informed the sweet lady that they are named “Lenny” and “Squiggy,” respectively.
She laughed and said, “I’ve Pre-Registered you before. I remember those names!”
We both giggled.

She then reminded me that even though it’s an “Outpatient” Procedure, last year, they had to keep me overnight.
Then, I remembered.

After the procedure last year, I felt like I had a bag of Rocks in both of my Kidneys.
Even though I only had one or two Stents in each Kidney, it felt like I had a bag of Sharp Edged Rocks in each Kidney.

And, when it comes to pain, I’m a terrible patient.

My Best Friend once drove to Birmingham, Alabama, from Huntsville, Alabama, to see me after Surgery.

Papa said to him, “He’s in pain and a nasty mood. You may not want to go in there to see him.”

I don’t remember anything except throwing a pillow at him when he walked into my room and Screaming, “Get Out!”
He ducked, and the Pillow missed him.
I think it’s some particular medication they give me after certain Surgeries.

Anyway, after receiving the Stents in both Kidneys last year, it felt like I had bags of Sharp Edged Rocks in both Kidneys.
Every Breath I took made the “Bag of Rocks” move around, Stabbing my Kidneys.

The poor Nurse watched as I tried to lay completely still and not Breath.
I was begging the Nurse to do something—anything—to make the pain go away.
I would have even been happy if he’d balled his fists up and Punched my lights out.

The Nurse said, “I’m so sorry; I’ve done everything I can do.”
And, he had done all he could do.
He knew the pain was temporary, and my Kidneys would eventually relax. He knew I wasn’t dying.

To me, though, Pain and Dying are the same things.
I thought I was Dying.

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he felt bad for me.
And that was last year.

Today, though, I’m on the Phone getting Pre-Registered when the Nice Lady on the Phone reminds me that I had to stay overnight after this procedure last year.
And I remembered the pain. The pain mentioned above.

The Doctor is using an X-Ray Machine to remove the Old Stents.
He will then replace the Old Stents with New Stents identical to the ones he just removed.
He will also place them back in the same spot as the Old Stents.

So, I think my Kidneys will feel fine—I hope.

I plan to attend the Hayden Homecoming Football Game this Friday Night.
I don’t want to miss that.

The sweet lady gave me these Words of Wisdom:

“They’ll send you home if you pack a bag and bring it with you. They’ll keep you overnight if you don’t bring anything with you.”

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